Unexpected Song
by Eden La Mer
Summary: A series of brief moments with Monica Swinton
1. Default Chapter

"Unexpected Song" By: Eden la Mer  
  
*Where exactly does Monica go after abandoning David?*  
  
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"Mama, I really did myself in this time."  
  
Monica sighed in a weak whisper, Her dark eyes blinked as she let a few stray tears from her cheek fall into her lap. The sun beat down against her hair as her hand absentmindedly brushed back a few errant strands that had been tickling against her face in the breeze. The day was lovely for the late summer month and mostly the sky was clear, unlike the past few days where a handful of showers had drenched the town in it's dampness. She sat on the grass upon a thick towel and stared at the bronze grave marker before her.  
  
"I did something bad, and I hate myself for it . I want to talk to  
someone but they all will just laugh, except you."  
  
Her fingers traced the raised lettering upon the fixture.  
  
MELINDA 'LINDY' PRICE - BELOVED MOTHER AND WIFE  
  
"I'm so afraid, of everything; afraid of going home, afraid of staying  
away, afraid of going back for him, afraid of finding him ."  
  
'David' is what she meant by saying 'him', but the word itself was too painful to say.  
  
"Remember that song I performed, mama, I was fifteen in my high school  
talent show?"  
  
She sang the first few lines softly.  
  
"I have never felt like this,  
at once I'm lost for words  
your smile's really thrown me.  
This is not like me at all  
I never thought I'd know  
the kind of love  
you've shown me."  
  
It was from an old stage musical they had seen together when she was a girl; the auburn haired actress had belted it at full force with a sweeping wave of applause and cheers following. Monica remembered that moment when she saw what the power of voice could do, a voice she wished to one day have.  
  
"He made me feel like that, just like that in every way."  
  
She smiled at thought.  
  
"He just came along one day and unexpectedly won my heart. He didn't  
even need to try, as if he was born to do it."  
  
Born? Lousy word choice, as with any mecha, he was indeed born eager to please his recipient.  
  
" I never thought anything could win my heart after, well, the  
situation with Martin. But it was true, as I believed; I was able to  
love more than one child. The heart does grow and it fits every way  
possible to accommodate others."  
  
In a world of such strict population control, multiple children were highly discouraged. She knew though, years in the past, families were allowed as many children as they were able to bear. Now, she and other women were forced into mandatory birth control.  
  
"Love hurts, loving someone so much can kill a woman, no ... to love  
and lose, THAT can kill a woman. It can kill anybody. I could have  
easily died today, mama."  
  
She breathed out a jittery breath and stabilized her breathing. Shock and trauma still coursed though her body and she needed to regain herself before heading back home.  
  
"Anyways, I'm just here to see how things are doing with you. I'm  
sorry I have not visited but I'm sure you saw how busy I've been. How  
happy I was for the first time in what seemed like eternity."  
  
She smiled gently yet sadly, as hard as it was to do so.  
  
"He really was my unexpected song, an unexpected song that only I was hearing."  
  
END  
  
*Note: Based on Unexpected Song from "Song and Dance - Tell me on a Sunday"  
  
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Lyrics by Don Black* Do get a chance to read full lyrics, as I found them fitting, which can be found on any search engine on the net. Thank you for your time,  
Eden La Mer 


	2. The Second Element

"The Second Element" By Eden La Mer  
  
*Always you'll be blood and soul part of me; the second element.  
  
I am longing for you. *  
  
- The Second Element  
  
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They say true love only comes once, but I beg to differ. I've been able to love truly many times over, however, am I wrong to admit that there are different kinds of love as well as loving at different persons at different intensities, but still loving those all the same? Am I even making sense?  
  
I thought not.  
  
Loving my David is something I'll never doubt. Ask me over and over if I regret his imprintation and I will say "no" to every time. After all, he didn't ask to be imprinted. Nor did he ask too be created. Worse enough, he didn't ask for the life he was to live beyond that. He never asked for anything.  
  
Except me.  
  
And I couldn't even give him that.  
  
Sometimes I wonder if he was really destined for me in the first place. Why me and Henry? We already had our chance for a child. There were so many young couples willing to allow any child into their home with open arms, while there I was, reluctant and afraid when I first saw him. I didn't want to accept him. I remember wanting him out of my sight the moment Henry had told me what he was for. I ranted, I yelled, I cried a lot. Now here I am wanting to do all three again, just to have him back in my life.  
  
What have I done to deserve this?  
  
Where have I gone wrong in life to be punished this way? That is, if I am being punished.  
  
Pessimists say as we live, we are really dying very, very slowly every day.  
  
This is the most painful death I can imagine then.  
  
I can't sleep because I still see his face in my dreams. The look of hurt in his eyes, his face expressing utter confusion and the knowledge of betrayal. Things no child should ever know or feel. I hear his distressed cries ringing out in my nightmares, worse than any ghosts' howl. I feel his desperate grip on me . on my arms, on my neck.  
  
It's hurts to stay awake because everything I see reminds me of him. I don't dare touch or change anything that he has left behind. It's as if they would fade to nothing if I did, as if he didn't exist.  
  
That, I refuse to bear the thought of.  
  
I only had my David for a little while, but in that that time, he learned so much.  
  
Except for the fact that I loved him.  
  
I don't know why I never told him, but now it's too late. Maybe I realized I never really knew how much I loved him until I was out there . the both of us in that struggle.  
  
How cruel is it to say "I love you" but then leave him helpless and alone as if he were unwanted. What would "I love you" mean then?  
  
Words, I now know, are nothing. Feelings are everything. I pray that if he felt any of my love at all, he'd know that I loved him.  
  
A love so far different from anything other love I had given anyone - A new kind of love that, perhaps that had only been felt between him and I.  
  
A love connected by his soul and felt in my blood.  
  
Which brings me back to where I started.  
  
Am I wrong to admit that there are different kinds of love?  
  
I think I just answered that for myself.  
  
END  
  
* Based on "The Second Element" * Music by: Thomas Schwartz, Frank Peterson. and Matthais Meissner  
  
Lyrics by: Frank Peterson and Weiss  
  
- Eden la Mer 


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